Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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p

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why so serious ?

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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