Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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White men's rights

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Roses are red, yup.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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