What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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