A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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