Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

thumb_up thumb_down -2

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops