Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

I saw how annoying the poem in the post below me was, so I decided to create an extreme version of it, to hopefully cause psychological distress to all of you readers. It goes something like this: Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...