Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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