Knock Knock! F*ck off

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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I love you

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops