What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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