how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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quantum physics?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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