What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops