If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -8

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My cat just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops