What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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There's my tractor.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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