Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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