- Anti Joke

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.