LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is big and white? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

womans having rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops