What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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My spelling is horrible

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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