Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops