How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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