The child was fired from his job.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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