have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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25

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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