Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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