A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Knock Knock.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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a man checks his mypsace

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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