What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops