What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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