what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did? Yes

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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