How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Julian Ha.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops