Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops