Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What is life? Paul.

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kennah campion when she talks

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops