Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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