Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops