Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Chuck Norris.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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time to spruce up!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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