How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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