What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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