Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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An anti-joke

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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