Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

thumb_up thumb_down -27

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops