Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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