Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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