knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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