What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops