knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Once upon a time

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops