What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops