wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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#Getweird

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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