Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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