Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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