Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Lololol

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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