A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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