What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

wanna hear a joke womens rights

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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