how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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