A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

thumb_up thumb_down

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down

what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

thumb_up thumb_down

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops