a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

thumb_up thumb_down

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

thumb_up thumb_down

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops