What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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