Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops