How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops