Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -8

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops