A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops