One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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BIG MAC'S

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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